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Taking the Butt out of “Butt Fumble”

imagesThe NFL lost one of its most popular figures today.  This ten year veteran was a solid role player, anchoring one of the better offensive NFL lines over the course of his tenure.  He was a leader on and off the field, always available for interviews and willing to keep a mouthy teammate in line.  He is one of the few players in the league who will end up playing all his professional games for one team, a rare feat in this day and age of free agency.  Above all else, he is the only player in the history of the game whose ass is more popular than both his face and his name.  This player is Brandon Moore and he sadly retires today, as the butt of all Mark Sanchez jokes.

images-2As stated, Brandon Moore was a solid member of the New York Jets from 2003 through 2012.  He was a key member of a Jets offensive line that was routinely ranked in the top five in rushing.  He was a well respected player in the locker room, who according to numerous Jets, was a vocal leader amongst the team.  Unfortunately, he was the owner of the ass that Mark Sanchez ran into during the famous “Butt Fumble” play on Thanksgiving last season against the rival Patriots.  Brandon Moore retired today with that play, his large green ass, serving as the most memorable play of his career.

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Obviously the “Butt Fumble” isn’t Brandon Moore’s fault.  It was extremely poor luck on his part.  Mark Sanchez could have picked anyone’s ass to run into.  He happened to find his way to Moore’s, which lead to the fumble, which lead to a Patriots touchdown, which lead to league and nationwide humiliation.  As a Jets fan watching that Thanksgiving, I will always remember the “Butt Fumble” as the moment I realized just how much of a joke my favorite football team was.  Although Brandon Moore wasn’t responsible, his large behind will always be associated with a very dark time in my life.

images-1I do appreciate the majority of Moore’s work as a Jet.  He started 142 games in his career over the ten year span, and as previously mentioned, was a big reason the Jets were a top rushing team in the years of Curtis Martin and Thomas Jones.  Moore was finally rewarded a Pro-Bowl roster position in 2011-2012.  He was undrafted out of college and is living proof that hard work and belief in your ability can take you to great places.  And then, Mark Sanchez picked his ass which effectively ended his career and ruined his legacy.  Brandon, I appreciate you but you, your ex-quarterback and your ass all need to go so the Jets could have a fresh start and put the “Butt Fumble” in the past.  Not to worry though, we will always remember you, as your ass will surely be on the NFL blooper reel for as long as the sport is in existence.  Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

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A Letter to A-Rod!

Dear Alex,

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Yankees Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the A-rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

How are you?  Weird day today, huh?  Listen, I just heard that MLB has suspended you for the rest of the season and next year for your involvement in the PED scandal.  Damn bro, 211 games is steep, especially considering that you have never failed a drug test and every other player who was involved only received 50 games.  However, I guess it’s time to pay the price.

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Hmmm. 211 – that’s better than my BA. I wonder if that’s a sign?

Whats that Alex?  You aren’t going to accept the penalty?  You will fight MLB to the end? From everything I’ve heard, MLB has a ton of evidence that you not only took PEDs, but you also helped other players find your source and then tried to cover it all up by offering to buy information to protect yourself.  Are you sure you want to argue this ruling?  I mean, yeah, 211 games is a lot and when you come back you’ll be about 40 and out of baseball for over 2 years, but at least you could still get paid on the back side of the contract.  If you fight, this situation will linger for months and what has been one of the ugliest incidents in baseball history will continue.  Your penalty could also be worse and you’ll be a huge distraction for your teammates.  Oh yeah, I forgot, you only care about yourself.  Sorry for the confusion!

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Yeah, that’s right. Pills THIS BIG! You think PED’s are easy?

Wait, whats that I hear?  What the hell are you talking about Alex?  You will be able to play during your appeal and you are coming back to the Yankees tonight?!?!  You plan on making your season debut the same night you are suspended over 200 games?!?!  Wow!  Well this is a pretty rare situation.  I know the Yankees need as much help as they could get.  This season has been a bust and the Yankees have had the worse production out of third base in the league.  They have also lost Derek Jeter again with another leg injury, and the team can really use a pick me up.  However, do you really think the Yankee players and fans are ready to welcome you back?  You have been an embarrassment and have done nothing but disrespect us all since this story broke.  Also, the fact of the matter is that the last time we saw you play you were garbage and got benched.  How can you help the Yankees situation and yours right now?  Maybe if you were the old Alex I’d want you to come back, but I’m assuming you’ll be the non-juicing A-Rod now and I don’t see how you will be any better than the trash they are throwing out there now.

ImageHear me out a little longer Alex.  Baseball is really mad at you.  Almost every player in the league and every fan of the game hates you.  You will be booed at every stadium around the county, maybe the loudest of all boos will be at  your home games.  You are quite rich from your lucrative contracts throughout your career.  Chances are you were juicing the entire time you were playing, but hell, it led to a pretty good career so I can’t even say I blame you.  However, at this time, I really think the best thing for you to do is go away.  I think I speak for 99% of baseball and Yankee fans when I tell you that we’ll be ok if you leave.  You’ve been exposed worse than any other player in the history of the game and though I do believe you will miss the game of baseball, I am quite positive that the feeling will not be mutual.

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One at a time guys! Stash is back in my locker.

Alex, think of your peers.  You have taken money out of their wallets, wins off their teams standings and attention and notoriety away from their stardom.  You cheated to get to a point at which you were baseball royalty.  When you were first addressed about rumors of steroids and yourself, you lied!  Eventually you admitted to having done some things in your past but that you learned your lesson and had not done anything in a number of years.  You told us you learned your lesson, that you were clean.  How do you think anything you have done in your career can be believed at this point.  After the era of Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens and the rest of the juicers from the 90’s, you were supposed to be the individual who cleaned up the sport by breaking all the records with your natural ability.  You have always cared about what people thought of you and now more than ever, you are pretty much a joke.  Take a bow and leave.

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You seen the babes I date? You think I could do that without juicing?

I’ve been in your corner before.  When you basically won the 2009 World Series for the Yankees, I thought you had turned a career corner.  You became a hero in New York, not to the Jeter and Mariano level but still you had gained our respect and admiration.  As I’ve said earlier, I’m not even mad that you took steroids or HGH or whatever the hell else you have done in your career.  I’m pissed that you won’t now admit guilt, go away and leave gracefully.  You made your bed Alex, now it is time to lay in it.  I don’t want to watch you play, I don’t want to hear about your misfortune and I certainly don’t want to pay the Yankees ticket money that will indirectly end up in your bank account.  Please Alex, as a former fan of yours, you must walk away and never return.

Sincerely,

NYBobby


Philadelphia: Softest City in America. Just Ask the Football Coach!

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I use Palmolive when I do dishes, and then a skin softener before I go to bed. Next question?

New Philadelphia Eagles coach Chip Kelly has always been a little unorthodox.  His no-huddle, fast paced offense at the University of Oregon has perplexed college defenses since he became offensive coordinator in 2007 and he continued to give opposing d-coordinators fits when he was the head coach.  His unique style of coaching has been copied in the NFL, as the New England Patriots have adopted a lot of his playbook, which has lead to great success as all football fans know.  However, his latest decision as an NFL coach has me and other football fans scratching our heads, as his theory on training camp intensity goes against virtually everything I believe football is about.

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It’s not called “tackle” because they carry fishing boxes!

NFL fans love football because of the violence.  Sure, we enjoy great passes, athletic catches and a cutback by a running back into the open field.  However, real football fans enjoy the gruesome hits and tackles that we get to watch every Sunday.  Football is a contact sport and the tenacity of the game (plus gambling) is the reason it has become the most popular athletic league in the world.  Chip Kelly doesn’t care about what we want, as his new policy at Eagles training camp is one of no tackling.

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You’ve got to fight for the right to fight for the right.

Kelly feels his players will be better prepared to enter an NFL season by avoiding the physical collisions that often lead to injury.  Some might say that this is a wise decision, especially considering the fact that the Eagles have already lost star WR Jeremy Maclin for the year due to a torn ACL on the first day of training camp.  The people who point to Maclin’s injury are flat out wrong!  Maclin’s injury was unfortunate for the Eagles, but it had nothing to do with tackling, as it was a non-contact injury in which the player blew his knee out by cutting on it the wrong way.  It was unavoidable and had nothing to do with the violence on the practice field.  Kelly’s policy is a panic move and I believe it is really setting up his team for failure.

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Maybe The Philly Cream Cheeses?

There have been many NFL coaches in the past who have lead many NFL training camps, and none have ever implemented this strategy.  Why do you think that it?  Is Chip Kelly smarter than all the NFL coaches prior to him?  Absolutely not!  The Philadelphia Eagles will be a soft football team this year.  They are in a division that includes RG3, Alfred Morris, Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks and Dez Bryant.  These are some of the most physical, fast and skilled players in the world.  How in the world does Kelly expect his team to bring these guys down in the open field when his players will have no practice in doing so.

Unknown-1Kelly feels that his players will have enough full-contact practice in the preseason.  I guess nobody told him that the starters barely play preseason football.  Therefore his main players will not be able to really hit anybody until Week 1 when the games actually count.  On top of that, many injuries occur in preseason games as players are often playing for their jobs in these spots and are extra physical.  Kelly is going to to run tissue paper soft practices and then throw his players into full contact competition against players who have been hitting the hell out of each other for weeks?  I might be crazy, but this does not sound like a recipe for keeping your players healthy entering the grueling football season.

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“You don’t hit each other, and you don’t hit this!”

If I was a fan of the Giants, Cowboys or Redskins, I would be licking my chops to play these pansies during the season.  I can’t believe a town like Philadelphia would embrace this culture, as Philly has in the past been a tough-nosed city and usually has sports teams to reflect their tenacity.  When the Eagles hired Kelly, many NFL insiders were excited to see if he could bring his college success into the NFL and were waiting to see what his game plans and coaching decisions would look like.  Little did they know that Kelly’s first move would be to soften his team to the point that local Philadelphia high school teams will participate in more grueling workouts then his Eagles.  Not to worry though Chip, if this NFL thing doesn’t work out I’m sure you could easily get a job coaching a gymnastics or figure skating team, as those appear to be more your speed.  It’s only a matter of time before the Eagles Cheerleaders start talking amongst themselves and asking each other why they need to root for this bunch of women.


David Cone Drops an F Bomb on a Sunday!

 

Incase you missed the biggest hit from the weekend in Major League Baseball, it came from the bat of “Big Papi” David Ortiz in Baltimore on Saturday.  However, his bat never came close to touching the actual baseball.  After calling timeout and stepping away from the plate, the pitcher threw a high pitch as Papi was out of the box and the umpire called it a strike.  In fairness to Ortiz, the ball was at eye level and should have never been called strike  one, but the umpire felt like Ortiz was showing him up by stepping out and punished him with a bad call.  Two pitches later, Ortiz struck out, used what I’d imagine was profane language, got ejected and threw a temper tantrum.  The worse of his actions was when he took his bat and beat the hell out of the dugout phone, sending it into pieces all over the dugout.

On yesterday’s Yankee broadcast, announcers Michael Kay and David Cone showed the highlights of Ortiz’s antics.  Kay described it using his normal play-by-play style, and then David Cone provided the color analysis.  Now as a big David Cone fan over the year, he usually seemed to carry himself with a calm demeanor.  He definitely has a lot of personality, hence he has a pretty good gig on the YES network, though his true colors came out yesterday upon his analysis of Ortiz beating the phone.  Because David Cone said he had no problem with Ortiz’s reaction, I’m assuming he really just loves phone!

Watch the video below and let me know what you think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR1NKdbgP5Q


World’s Most Famous Arena…For Only Ten More Years!

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Could this be the Garden's future?

Could this be the Garden’s future?

A vote took place in New York City a day ago in regards to Madison Square Garden’s permit in New York City.  The New York City Council voted to extend the Garden’s permit to operate above Penn Station for ten more years, not the perpetuity vote the Garden was hoping for.  The vote was nearly unanimous, as the Council voted 47-1 to limit the permit.  What does this mean for New York City and MSG’s sports teams?  There is a very real chance that New Yorkers will have to find a new venue to root on the Knicks, Rangers and attend many of the sporting events, concerts, shows and other events that they have been going to the Garden since 1968 to see.

ImageAs a New York sports fan, there is really no place like Madison Square Garden to watch a sporting event.  I loved the old Yankee Stadium but when the Knicks and Rangers are in the playoffs, you can feel the electricity in the building.  The memories I have from the 1994 season, when both the Knicks and Rangers made their respective finals are right up with my favorite sports moments of my life as an intense fan.  If New York City loses Madison Square Garden, it will lose a big chunk of its identity.

ImageAsk any opposing player in the NBA or NHL which arena they love playing in the most and the answer will be Madison Square Garden 99% of the time.  Over the years, our team’s have been negatively affected by their oppositions motivation by playing on the biggest stage in sports, but it had led to great performances for New York fans to witness.  From Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Wayne Gretzky, Martin Brodeur and many others, New York City sports fans have been able to witness the all-time greats travel to New York City and give their best performance because they knew we were the best fan base to impress.

ImageThe New York City Council feels that it is more important to extend Penn Station above ground.  I don’t understand why this is necessary.  I’ve been using Penn Station to travel on New Jersey Transit and the Long Island Railroad all of my adult life.  Although I can agree that a renovation for Penn Station might be a little overdue, I don’t see why it’s necessary to remove an arena that has given New York City and the midtown area of Manhattan so much life.  How many bars, restaurants and other businesses thrive from Ranger and Knick game nights?  Also, the New York City Subway system and other major train depots have been more than functional underground.  Does the New York City Council really feel moving our sports home is necessary so people traveling have better phone service as they wait to board their trains?

ImageAs a New York City employee, I pay a lot of taxes.  Madison Square Garden just put nearly a billion dollars into renovating the Garden and the project will finally be complete this fall.  Now, this Council is telling New Yorkers that not only will the city need to build a new arena and renovate Penn Station, but also it is likely that Cable Vision and Knick and Ranger owner James Dolan will want to be reimbursed the money he spent on the latest renovations.  Where do we think this money might be coming from, if not New Yorkers paychecks?

ImageLastly, New York City fans are well aware of what happens when our teams homes are relocated.  As I said earlier, the old Yankee Stadium was about as electric as MSG.  The new Yankee Stadium is more like a mall then a baseball stadium.  An individual can have a full night out at the new Yankee Stadium without seeing one pitch.  Metlife Stadium might be bigger and cleaner than the old Giants Stadium, but it’s certainly not as loud and does not nearly carry the same home field advantage.  Look at the Giants recent playoff success and you might notice that all of their big victories over the years have been on the road.  MSG is the last sporting gem that we have in our area and now the clock for its relocation is ticking.


Another One Bites the Dust

ImageI understand the Yankees are old.  I think all Yankee fans have kind of seen the end of the road for the past few years.  With Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter and Andy Pettitte all in their late 30’s to early 40’s, we all knew that the time we all enjoyed in the late 90s was ending.  However, nobody could have predicted that the wheels would fall of this rapidly in the form of injuries and reoccurring injuries.

 ImageComing into the season, we knew Jeter and Rodriguez would be starting off the year a little gimpy, although there was hope Jeter would be ready for opening day.  The assumption was a lineup of Cano, Granderson, Teixeira, Ichiro, Youkilis and Gardner would keep the Yankees afloat and provide enough runs to put them in contention.  That hope was short-lived:

ImageTexiera strained his wrist while taking batting practice at the World Baseball Classic.  Came back for less than two weeks and reinjured it, out for the year!  Granderson broke his finger by getting hit by a pitch, finally comes back, and gets hit by another pitch!  Who knows when he’s coming back?  Jeter pushed himself hard to get back, fractured his ankle again, pushed hard again to come back, strained his quad, back to the DL!  Youkilis is signed to hold the fort down until the injured A-Rod comes back and his back goes out on him in April, done for the year and probably his career.  So terrible that all we could do as Yankee fans was laugh it off.

ImageThen the madness that is Alex Rodriguez around started to take over.  There were steroid scandals, disputes with the Yankees front office, rumors of a plea bargain and 150 game suspension, and then when the smoke clears it looks like he might be coming back.  Now I believe most Yankee fans are done with Rodriguez.  He has been a negative influence for the past few years, was benched in the playoffs last season and has overall been more of an embarrassment than an asset since 2009.  However, I truly believe that any Yankee fan who has seen the cast of amateurs the Yankees have thrown out at third base this season would have to change their mind to a degree, and even if they don’t like him, they understand there is a need for him.

He finally announced that he would be coming back Monday and I’m not going to lie, I was excited to see it all go down.  The Yankees are in Texas tomorrow and to watch him come back against his former team would have been fascinating to see.  He would automatically improve the Yankees, even if he were half the player he once was.  The Yankees won against Boston last night and had the chance to take the series tonight, possibly building some momentum.  However, the inevitable had to happen and A-Rod felt tightness in his thigh and will need to receive an MRI to check out the extent of the injury.  The injury occurred on the last day of his rehab stint, one day before he was supposed to rejoin the Yankees. 

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 I’m at the point where I have lost hope on the Yankees getting any of their aging players back.  This is the season that Lyle Overbay, Luis Cruz, Eduardo Nunez and Zoilo Almonte get their Bronx experiences and take the team as far as they could, which is honestly not looking like it will be more than 162 games.  The Yankees are 7 games above .500 which is somewhat miraculous given the roster they’ve been playing with, but they also find themselves in fourth place of possibly the most even division in baseball.  They are 6 games behind the first place Red Sox, but I believe the Orioles and Rays, who are also ahead of the Yankees in the standings are each better than both the Yanks and Sox.  To have had most of my hope on the off chance that A-Rod could come back and contribute was dicey enough, and now his set back confirms that the Yankees have hit the worst streak of bad luck I have ever seen in major league sports.  

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 Because they are the Yankees and the greatest team in the history of professional sports, it will be tough to find anybody who will feel sorry for them outside of the Bronx.  Even so, it doesn’t make the frustration for the pinstripe faithful any easier to deal with.  I am still a die-hard fan and will tune into the games, but I am getting really sick of rooting for Vernon Wells and Travis Hafner.


This SUCKS!

To our faithful readers:

We apologize for our lack of enthusiasm in the past few months.  Unfortunately, as all you know, we live in New York City.  To be honest, it was been extremely difficult to write about sports in New York with out getting totally fucking sick to our stomachs.  Sometimes at night, as I lay down and close my eyes, I am still haunted by visions of the Sanchez ass fumble on Thanksgiving.  New York sports is entering a recession and we are fairly god damn close to a depression.  With that said, Sports Debaters knows it’s our duty to entertain regardless and we are fully committed to picking up the slack because somebody has got to win around here.

Let’s paint a quick picture of the sports scene in New York.  The Jets are a fucking joke.  They are the laughing stock of the god damn NFL.  As currently constituted, I would rather the Jets not show up next year and forfeit all 16 games.  The Jets are so bad that they can’t even find a QB who is better than Mark Sanchez.  Today the Jets lost their best offensive weapon (Dustin Keller) to division rival Miami, but replaced him by signing three guys that I could have sworn has retired already.  There is not much more to say about this team…just that I fucking hate that fact that I fucking love them.

The Giants are in much better shape than the Jets, but are still on the decline.  They are currently in danger of losing their best WR in Victor Cruz because of a salary cap situation in which they can’t afford to pay him the premium price needed.  The Giants have let go of way more players this offseason then they have signed, including players like Ahmad Bradshaw, Chris Canty and Michael Boley who were key contributers during their Super Bowl teams.  The Giants are not among the top NFC teams anymore, which is clear by their playoff miss and failure to improve.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be where the Giants are than where the Jets are.  With that said, there are about 10-15 teams that are in better shape than the G-men, who are only one year removed from being champions.

For the past 15 years, baseball has always brought the New York city area hope and encouragement this time of year.  I can’t waste much time on the Mets.  70 wins for the Mets will be a success this year and as of today they might be opening up the season without their best player as David Wright as suffered a rib injury.  However, as a Yankee fan, we might be entering a period in which we haven’t experienced since the early 1990’s.  All of a sudden, the Yankees don’t spend money.  This offseason, they watched all of their free agents leave, didn’t sign any of their own and were actually outbid by the Pittsburgh Pirates for a player that they could actually use, Russell Martin.  When was the last time the Pirates offered more money than the Yankees were willing to.  Tie in the Yankees stinginess to the fact that the are dropping like flies with injuries to A-Roid, Granderson and Teixeria, and it’s safe to say that the Yankees are in trouble heading into the 2013 campaign.

After an 18-5 start to the season, the New York Knicks are 20-20 in their last 40.  Amare Stoudemire is out for the remained of the regular season with a knee injury that he suffered as he was starting to look like the player the Knicks paid a max contract to 2 and a half years ago. A week later, Carmelo Anthony has been hobbling around the west coast and just had his knee drained in an attempt to get healthy.  Throw in a knee injury to Tyson Chandler, suffered in Carmelo’s homecoming game in which the Knicks got laced by their 2010 first half team, and the past few games have been simply awful for the Knickerbockers.  The only silver-lining is that I’m a Brooklyn Nets fan, and although the Nets are playing mediocre, the Knicks are playing bad enough to allow the Nets to inch closer to the division lead.  The Knicks age was always a concern and it appears that as this season has dragged on, the injury bug is slamming this team upside the head.

Last but not least, we have my New York Rangers.  I know most people don’t care about hockey and may not even be aware that there is a hockey season going on right now.  Well, the NHL season has been in action for about 2 months now, but I’m not even sure the Rangers are aware of this fact the way they have been playing.  The Rangers were 2 games away from the finals last year and ended up bringing in one of the best players in the sport in Rick Nash.  They have a star laden team and should be one of the best in the league.  After their latest loss to the Winnipeg Jets (yup, that’s really a team), the Rangers find themselves in ninth place in the Eastern Conference and out of the playoff picture.  There is still time left in the season for a turn-around, but to say that they have been disappointing doesn’t even begin to explain my feelings on this team.

New York is the best city in the world.  There are other amazing, beautiful cities out there, but New Yorkers are the brashest, proudest and hold the highest expectations for all aspects of their lives.  We are passionate about our sports and incredibly supporting of our teams.  We pay outrageous ticket prices to watch them live.  Madison Square Garden just raised their ticket prices a couple days ago for next year, which oddly enough was about the same time the Rangers and Knicks have collectively taken nose dives.  New Yorkers are resilient and we will continue to support our mediocre (and in some cases terrible) teams, and unfortunately for New York fans and sports debaters, I fear there will be a whole lot more complaining than celebrating in the near future.  Hoping I’m wrong, but as the faithful SD readers are aware, I’m much more often right.


Nick Saban is coming to town: Hide the kids!

Nick Saban is a creep.  The Alabama coach who has won back to back National Championships  and four overall has always been known for being a douche bag.  He left LSU in the middle of the night, took a job with the Dolphins, bailed on them after a crappy couple of years and has now rebuilt a winning program at LSU’s biggest rival.  However, offering scholarships and actively recruiting middle school children is the most offensive act he has every participated in.

Dylan Moses is an 8th grader from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Apparently Moses stands at 6’1 and 215 pounds, which means he looks more like a man than most of my grown up friends.  However, the 13 year old running back is still just that, 13 years old!  Dylan hasn’t spent a day in high school yet.  He isn’t allowed to drive for another three years.  None of these things matter to Nick Saban because he has already offered Moses a full ride to Alabama 4 years prior to his high school graduation.

I guess Nick Saban has been channeling his inner Jerry Sandusky by watching tape of and sweet talking prepubescent football players.  In a few years, I expect to see him hiding behind a bush of a Texas area elementary school, spying on the 2nd grade recess pick-up game looking for the next Greg McElroy.  Had Moses been jewish I guess we would have expected Saban to light a candle during the lighting ceremony.

In a day and age where the sports world has become tarnished in every which way, it is rare for me to find a story with any shock value.  Since the beginning of this calendar year we’ve had legendary steroid and PED scandals, catfish scandals, olympic athlete murder scandals and now Saban has added to the insanity.  I’m pretty sure that in the next few days we will learn the Dylan Moses has been taking some form of steroids, probably Deer Antler spray which seems to be a popular choice among the Crimson Tide.  I mean, who has ever met a 13 year old who was 6’1 and 215 pounds?  Let’s just hope that Saban doesn’t shower with Moses or that the kid doesn’t invent a girlfriend who doesn’t actually exist.  Both of these scenarios would have been out of the realm of possibility as recently as three years ago, but hell, this is 2013 and anything can happen these days.

Dylan Moses should have been allowed to go through high school as a normal student.  Now that the has been offered a full ride to attend the best football school in the country, he has an automatic target on his back.  He’ll have a hard time making friends because people will only want to get close to him for his money.  He can’t possibly have a real relationship because ever girl he’ll be with will be trying to trick him into knocking them up, looking for that child support.  He’ll be walking around town with the biggest ego in the world but at the same time will go through his teenage years living a lonely existence.

Nick Saban did a huge disservice to Dylan Moses and he needs to be banned from all elementary and middle schools for the rest of his career.