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UF Alumni Give Their School A Big F U

racist

I’m usually a nice guy, but don’t get me Riley’d.

Over a year ago, I wrote an article about how great the University of Florida athletes and their Alumni performed at the Olympics (https://sports-debaters.com/2012/07/31/the-university-of-florida-should-be-a-sovereign-nation/).  While I am not going to retract anything I said, I will say that the Gators reputation has been tarnished pretty bad of late.  Since the end of the amazing Summer Olympics, the UF Alumni have demonstrated many different negative attributes stemming from completely moronic Olympians to murder and ending it all with a delicious cup of racism.  While it is tough to argue that UF doesn’t have the greatest Athletics program out of any University in the world, I can guarantee that there won’t be much bragging coming from the Orange and Blue after how this past year has unfolded.

ryanLet’s start with the absolute dumbest Olympian that has ever graced this fine Country we live in.  Ryan Lochte made quite a splash (pun intended) entering the 2012 Summer Olympics.  He now holds 11 medals and is definitely a favorite to pick up some more in the future, but no one ever said that you need to be educated or sane to win an Olympic Gold.  Lochte became an overnight sensation and the world waited on a nightly basis for him to say dumb thing after dumb thing.  He became the laughing stock of sports and Pop culture.  He even inspired Saturday Night Live to write a segment where Seth McFarlane impersonated the fast swimmer in what was one of the funniest Weekend Update segments in a long time*…outside of Drunk Uncle of course.  Ryan’s rise to fame led to him getting his own Reality TV show on E! called “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”  It’s hard to emphasize how dumb this guy actually is so please watch this video to find out for yourself:

lochte

Look up on the TV – some guy swimming who looks just like me! Go figure.

After the rise to Super Star-dumb by Ryan Lochte, it seemed as if Florida was in the clear from any more embarrassments.  Not so fast Gators because it gets a helluva lot worse.  You might not have heard about it, and if you haven’t you are probably on the wrong website, but there is this guy named Aaron Hernandez who definitely murdered someone.  I say it like that because he hasn’t been convicted yet but he for sure as hell will be.  The former Gator/Patriot Tight End and BFF of Tim “The Tool man” Tebow, was charged with murder in the death of former semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd. Hernandez has also been charged with five other gun-related offenses.

aaron

You like these guns? Wanna see another?

According to the website “The Week,” Hernandez was seen, both by witnesses and on several surveillance cameras, with the victim on the night of the murder. Cell phone geodata also showed Hernandez traveling with Lloyd and arriving at the industrial park where Lloyd’s body was found.  The prosecutor further alleged witnesses in the area of that industrial park heard gunshots, and that forensic evidence indicated Hernandez and his accomplices shot Lloyd multiple times, and then, as Lloyd lay on the ground, stood over him and delivered the fatal shots.  Though Hernandez destroyed surveillance equipment in his home, the prosecutor said investigators still obtained footage showing Hernandez walking through his home carrying a gun sometime after Lloyd is believed to have been shot.

hernandez

Shit! I keep pressing the wrong one for the picture! Go get me another friend – this time I’ll get it right.

cooper

Kenny Chesney’s not a n%@4#$? Don’t trife me man or I’ll hunk out. I gotta flow off – gonna do a broto with my homies.

So maybe Ryan Lochte is only the second dumbest University of Florida Alumni, or even the third.  You see, a moronic Olympian and a murderer can destroy any school’s reputation but if you add in an angry racist tirade you find yourself as the most frowned upon Athletic Program in the country.  Enter Riley Cooper.  The young and talented Philadelphia Eagles Wide Receiver decided that it was a good idea to spit out some threatening racial slurs during an obviously too intense Kenny Chesney concert.  I know that whenever I listen to Kenny Chesney all I want to do is start some hate crimes.  This caught-on-camera act led to an off-season suspension and team-sanctioned racial sensitivity training.  Riley did return to practice today and will start the regular season as a top-2 option for Michael Vick to throw to, but I can assure you that he will also be the #1 option for every member of every team to hit first.  You’re welcome Adrian Peterson, because Riley Cooper just made the target on your back only the second biggest in the NFL.

So while the University of Florida has provided this world with some of the finest athletes ever, we can also thank them for the 3 dumbest!

 

 

*Some more Lockte laughs: http://youtu.be/85YfrQn-mFs

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2 responses

  1. Roll Tide Roll! You don’t see any of these issues from Alabama alumni!

    August 6, 2013 at 10:42 PM

  2. michelle

    Go Gators!

    August 6, 2013 at 10:35 PM

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