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Archive for August, 2013

Iman Shumpert: Fresher Off the Court Than On

ImageMichelle Obama is putting out a rap album as part of her Lets Move: Active Schools initiative.  The program is geared towards solving the national problem of childhood obesity.  As somebody whose day job allows me to work with youth in the inner-cities, I know that putting out a hop-hop album is a great method for delivering a message to our kids. Run-D.M.C, Doug E. Fresh, and Ashanti are some of the acts that will be featured on the album, all of whom are successful artists in the hip hop industry.  However, the artist that struck my fancy the most was New York Knicks guard Iman Shumpert, who will have a track on the first lady’s album.

ImageNow as a Brooklyn Nets fan and Knicks “hater”, I have never been a huge supporter of Iman Shumpert.  Knicks fans have viewed him as the next big thing, and while I believe his defense is above average, to me he’s an athletic player who needs to improve his offensive consistency by a lot before he will be taken as a serious threat in the league.  I know Knicks fans want to believe he will come together like Paul George did for the Indiana Pacers, and maybe he will after he is more than a full season beyond his knee injury.  However, Knick fans were saying that Landry Fields was also going to be a huge building piece of the Knicks future, and then they let him go to a team within the division without making a completive offer to keep him.  I wouldn’t be shocked to see Shumpert have a similar departure if he doesn’t step up his scoring in a big way.

One thing I can’t knock about Shumpert is his rap game is really tight!  Last year, as he was recovering from a gruesome knee injury, he released the Knicks Anthem, which features his ability to flow.

Now a lot of athletes put out musical albums, thinking that their name and athletic ability will help their notoriety as a musical artist.  Shaquille O’Neal and Ron Artest are two examples of posers in the rap game.  The difference with Shumpert is that I believe that if he wasn’t in the NBA, he could possibly make it in the rap game as he is very skilled.

ImageOne of my favorite rappers today, Kendrick Lamar called Iman Shumpert out on his latest track “Control”, in which he mentioned every hip hop artist and the great Phil Jackson as well.  The fact that Kendrick Lamar even spoke Shump ‘s name shows the respect Iman is gaining in both the hip hop and basketball communities.  Later that day, Shumpert was the first to respond by releasing:

ImageSo while I don’t believe Shumpert is where he needs to be as an NBA player at this point, his overall ability as a rapper is unmatched in the world of professional sports.  Also, though I really do enjoy hearing him battle some of the best rappers in today’s game, (I think K. Lamar might be the best), what he’s doing with Michelle Obama is much more meaningful and shows Shumpert’s true character.  In a day where the children in our country do not engage in athletic competition like in generations past, it is vital that role models and celebrity figures step up and speak (or rap) the importance of being active.  So although I won’t be rooting for the New York Knicks this upcoming basketball season, I will be supporting Iman Shumpert and hoping that his offensive basketball game can approach the level of his rap game.

Who Are The Kings of New York?

knicks trash

#OHELLBROOKLYN> The Knicks are happy the Knets are here.

This season, the Knicks have 99 problems and Brooklyn isn’t one of them.  While I’m not discrediting anything that Brooklyn accomplished last year or during this off-season, but in my mind it is no question that the Knicks are the creme of the crop in the Atlantic Division.  The rivalry between these two teams grew to record levels in Brooklyn’s inaugural season last year and with the way this off-season has gone, we can expect the same intensity this season.  We are still nearly 3 months away from the opening tip yet these two squads are already talking shit and ready to claw each others faces off.   Here’s why I feel the Nets will be watching the Knicks throne once again.


…but that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get there.

Lets start with each teams off-season moves and how they will affect this years outcome.  Without question, the biggest move this summer came from the Brooklyn Nets when they acquired Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Jason Terry from the Celtics for basically nothing but picks…sorry Kris Kardashian Humphries.  The signing of Andrei Kirilenko will end up paying huge dividends as he will bring a defensive intensity that Joe Johnson never brings.  Add these 4 new veterans with the core group built from a year ago of Deron Williams, Joe Johnson and Brook Lopez and you can say that the Nets had the best off-season in the league…that is unless you believe Dwight will actually do something this year.  This team will definitely outperform itself from a year ago mainly because of the experience they added.


We’re Betta than Metta, and the Knicks will Beno problem for us!

What’s amazing to me is that with the great moves Brooklyn has made, the Knicks have been overshadowed all Summer.  What people aren’t talking about is the vast improvements the Knicks have made without losing much at all.  New York has brought in 3 veterans that are all upgrades from a season ago.  The Knicks picked up the one man that can defend any 2/3/4 in the NBA and who can also show some signs of offensive intelligence at the same time.  Metta World Peace might be everything that is wrong with the NBA but he can sure play with the best of ’em.  The Knicks also acquired Andrea Bargnani and Beno Udrih who will both provide extremely solid production off the bench alongside JR and Kenyon.  The Knicks still have the best scorer in the game and if Tyson and Amare can come back healthy and Shumpert is the player everyone assumes he is then New York will be a tough team to tango with all year long.


Kan Kidd Knock Knicks?

Last year, Brooklyn and New York split the season series and each game was just as exciting as the next.  One of the craziest things that happened between these teams this Summer was the retirement of the Knicks Jason Kidd and his hiring as the new Head Coach of the Nets.  That move alone is enough to ignite the fire between these teams but add that in with Paul Pierce declaring his immense hatred of the Knicks and there are bound to be sparks flying all year.  Pierce had this to say on the Michael Kay Show;


Okay, the Knicks wins round one of douche.

“I think the hate for the Knicks has grown a little. Everybody knows how much I disliked the Knicks when I was with the Celtics, but I think it’s grown to another level.  I think it’s time for the Nets to start running this city.”  Pierce also had a lot to say about the rivalry at a Sprint Charity event; “The only thing that separates the two teams is a bridge. And both of them are in the same division and both of them are considered contenders. You can’t help but say this is probably gonna be the best rivalry in sports next year.”


Shirts are flying off the shelves! They are cheap – quite the Bargnani.

I definitely agree that this will be the most exciting rivalry in sports this year.  I am looking more forward to the Nets coming to town than I am the Heat or Pacers.  I only say that because of the inner city battle; I think the Heat and Pacers both pose a much bigger threat than the Nets do this year.  The main reason that I feel the Knicks will win the Atlantic Division, I’m estimating by 2 to 3 games, is because of chemistry and depth.  The only everyday player that the Knicks are changing this season will be Kidd and we all know how he played down the stretch last year.  This Knicks team is familiar with each other and have proven they belong the elite Eastern teams.  The Nets will be right there with them this year but since there is truly no chemistry on the roster and the fact that their newly acquired players are all in the waning stages of their careers tells me that they are not ready to dethrone the Knicks from atop the Atlantic Division.


Teachers are in. Time for those kids in Brooklyn to get schooled.

Let the biased Knicks hatred begin!

Taking the Butt out of “Butt Fumble”

imagesThe NFL lost one of its most popular figures today.  This ten year veteran was a solid role player, anchoring one of the better offensive NFL lines over the course of his tenure.  He was a leader on and off the field, always available for interviews and willing to keep a mouthy teammate in line.  He is one of the few players in the league who will end up playing all his professional games for one team, a rare feat in this day and age of free agency.  Above all else, he is the only player in the history of the game whose ass is more popular than both his face and his name.  This player is Brandon Moore and he sadly retires today, as the butt of all Mark Sanchez jokes.

images-2As stated, Brandon Moore was a solid member of the New York Jets from 2003 through 2012.  He was a key member of a Jets offensive line that was routinely ranked in the top five in rushing.  He was a well respected player in the locker room, who according to numerous Jets, was a vocal leader amongst the team.  Unfortunately, he was the owner of the ass that Mark Sanchez ran into during the famous “Butt Fumble” play on Thanksgiving last season against the rival Patriots.  Brandon Moore retired today with that play, his large green ass, serving as the most memorable play of his career.


Obviously the “Butt Fumble” isn’t Brandon Moore’s fault.  It was extremely poor luck on his part.  Mark Sanchez could have picked anyone’s ass to run into.  He happened to find his way to Moore’s, which lead to the fumble, which lead to a Patriots touchdown, which lead to league and nationwide humiliation.  As a Jets fan watching that Thanksgiving, I will always remember the “Butt Fumble” as the moment I realized just how much of a joke my favorite football team was.  Although Brandon Moore wasn’t responsible, his large behind will always be associated with a very dark time in my life.

images-1I do appreciate the majority of Moore’s work as a Jet.  He started 142 games in his career over the ten year span, and as previously mentioned, was a big reason the Jets were a top rushing team in the years of Curtis Martin and Thomas Jones.  Moore was finally rewarded a Pro-Bowl roster position in 2011-2012.  He was undrafted out of college and is living proof that hard work and belief in your ability can take you to great places.  And then, Mark Sanchez picked his ass which effectively ended his career and ruined his legacy.  Brandon, I appreciate you but you, your ex-quarterback and your ass all need to go so the Jets could have a fresh start and put the “Butt Fumble” in the past.  Not to worry though, we will always remember you, as your ass will surely be on the NFL blooper reel for as long as the sport is in existence.  Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

UF Alumni Give Their School A Big F U


I’m usually a nice guy, but don’t get me Riley’d.

Over a year ago, I wrote an article about how great the University of Florida athletes and their Alumni performed at the Olympics (  While I am not going to retract anything I said, I will say that the Gators reputation has been tarnished pretty bad of late.  Since the end of the amazing Summer Olympics, the UF Alumni have demonstrated many different negative attributes stemming from completely moronic Olympians to murder and ending it all with a delicious cup of racism.  While it is tough to argue that UF doesn’t have the greatest Athletics program out of any University in the world, I can guarantee that there won’t be much bragging coming from the Orange and Blue after how this past year has unfolded.

ryanLet’s start with the absolute dumbest Olympian that has ever graced this fine Country we live in.  Ryan Lochte made quite a splash (pun intended) entering the 2012 Summer Olympics.  He now holds 11 medals and is definitely a favorite to pick up some more in the future, but no one ever said that you need to be educated or sane to win an Olympic Gold.  Lochte became an overnight sensation and the world waited on a nightly basis for him to say dumb thing after dumb thing.  He became the laughing stock of sports and Pop culture.  He even inspired Saturday Night Live to write a segment where Seth McFarlane impersonated the fast swimmer in what was one of the funniest Weekend Update segments in a long time*…outside of Drunk Uncle of course.  Ryan’s rise to fame led to him getting his own Reality TV show on E! called “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”  It’s hard to emphasize how dumb this guy actually is so please watch this video to find out for yourself:


Look up on the TV – some guy swimming who looks just like me! Go figure.

After the rise to Super Star-dumb by Ryan Lochte, it seemed as if Florida was in the clear from any more embarrassments.  Not so fast Gators because it gets a helluva lot worse.  You might not have heard about it, and if you haven’t you are probably on the wrong website, but there is this guy named Aaron Hernandez who definitely murdered someone.  I say it like that because he hasn’t been convicted yet but he for sure as hell will be.  The former Gator/Patriot Tight End and BFF of Tim “The Tool man” Tebow, was charged with murder in the death of former semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd. Hernandez has also been charged with five other gun-related offenses.


You like these guns? Wanna see another?

According to the website “The Week,” Hernandez was seen, both by witnesses and on several surveillance cameras, with the victim on the night of the murder. Cell phone geodata also showed Hernandez traveling with Lloyd and arriving at the industrial park where Lloyd’s body was found.  The prosecutor further alleged witnesses in the area of that industrial park heard gunshots, and that forensic evidence indicated Hernandez and his accomplices shot Lloyd multiple times, and then, as Lloyd lay on the ground, stood over him and delivered the fatal shots.  Though Hernandez destroyed surveillance equipment in his home, the prosecutor said investigators still obtained footage showing Hernandez walking through his home carrying a gun sometime after Lloyd is believed to have been shot.


Shit! I keep pressing the wrong one for the picture! Go get me another friend – this time I’ll get it right.


Kenny Chesney’s not a n%@4#$? Don’t trife me man or I’ll hunk out. I gotta flow off – gonna do a broto with my homies.

So maybe Ryan Lochte is only the second dumbest University of Florida Alumni, or even the third.  You see, a moronic Olympian and a murderer can destroy any school’s reputation but if you add in an angry racist tirade you find yourself as the most frowned upon Athletic Program in the country.  Enter Riley Cooper.  The young and talented Philadelphia Eagles Wide Receiver decided that it was a good idea to spit out some threatening racial slurs during an obviously too intense Kenny Chesney concert.  I know that whenever I listen to Kenny Chesney all I want to do is start some hate crimes.  This caught-on-camera act led to an off-season suspension and team-sanctioned racial sensitivity training.  Riley did return to practice today and will start the regular season as a top-2 option for Michael Vick to throw to, but I can assure you that he will also be the #1 option for every member of every team to hit first.  You’re welcome Adrian Peterson, because Riley Cooper just made the target on your back only the second biggest in the NFL.

So while the University of Florida has provided this world with some of the finest athletes ever, we can also thank them for the 3 dumbest!



*Some more Lockte laughs:

A Letter to A-Rod!

Dear Alex,


Yankees Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the A-rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

How are you?  Weird day today, huh?  Listen, I just heard that MLB has suspended you for the rest of the season and next year for your involvement in the PED scandal.  Damn bro, 211 games is steep, especially considering that you have never failed a drug test and every other player who was involved only received 50 games.  However, I guess it’s time to pay the price.


Hmmm. 211 – that’s better than my BA. I wonder if that’s a sign?

Whats that Alex?  You aren’t going to accept the penalty?  You will fight MLB to the end? From everything I’ve heard, MLB has a ton of evidence that you not only took PEDs, but you also helped other players find your source and then tried to cover it all up by offering to buy information to protect yourself.  Are you sure you want to argue this ruling?  I mean, yeah, 211 games is a lot and when you come back you’ll be about 40 and out of baseball for over 2 years, but at least you could still get paid on the back side of the contract.  If you fight, this situation will linger for months and what has been one of the ugliest incidents in baseball history will continue.  Your penalty could also be worse and you’ll be a huge distraction for your teammates.  Oh yeah, I forgot, you only care about yourself.  Sorry for the confusion!


Yeah, that’s right. Pills THIS BIG! You think PED’s are easy?

Wait, whats that I hear?  What the hell are you talking about Alex?  You will be able to play during your appeal and you are coming back to the Yankees tonight?!?!  You plan on making your season debut the same night you are suspended over 200 games?!?!  Wow!  Well this is a pretty rare situation.  I know the Yankees need as much help as they could get.  This season has been a bust and the Yankees have had the worse production out of third base in the league.  They have also lost Derek Jeter again with another leg injury, and the team can really use a pick me up.  However, do you really think the Yankee players and fans are ready to welcome you back?  You have been an embarrassment and have done nothing but disrespect us all since this story broke.  Also, the fact of the matter is that the last time we saw you play you were garbage and got benched.  How can you help the Yankees situation and yours right now?  Maybe if you were the old Alex I’d want you to come back, but I’m assuming you’ll be the non-juicing A-Rod now and I don’t see how you will be any better than the trash they are throwing out there now.

ImageHear me out a little longer Alex.  Baseball is really mad at you.  Almost every player in the league and every fan of the game hates you.  You will be booed at every stadium around the county, maybe the loudest of all boos will be at  your home games.  You are quite rich from your lucrative contracts throughout your career.  Chances are you were juicing the entire time you were playing, but hell, it led to a pretty good career so I can’t even say I blame you.  However, at this time, I really think the best thing for you to do is go away.  I think I speak for 99% of baseball and Yankee fans when I tell you that we’ll be ok if you leave.  You’ve been exposed worse than any other player in the history of the game and though I do believe you will miss the game of baseball, I am quite positive that the feeling will not be mutual.


One at a time guys! Stash is back in my locker.

Alex, think of your peers.  You have taken money out of their wallets, wins off their teams standings and attention and notoriety away from their stardom.  You cheated to get to a point at which you were baseball royalty.  When you were first addressed about rumors of steroids and yourself, you lied!  Eventually you admitted to having done some things in your past but that you learned your lesson and had not done anything in a number of years.  You told us you learned your lesson, that you were clean.  How do you think anything you have done in your career can be believed at this point.  After the era of Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens and the rest of the juicers from the 90’s, you were supposed to be the individual who cleaned up the sport by breaking all the records with your natural ability.  You have always cared about what people thought of you and now more than ever, you are pretty much a joke.  Take a bow and leave.


You seen the babes I date? You think I could do that without juicing?

I’ve been in your corner before.  When you basically won the 2009 World Series for the Yankees, I thought you had turned a career corner.  You became a hero in New York, not to the Jeter and Mariano level but still you had gained our respect and admiration.  As I’ve said earlier, I’m not even mad that you took steroids or HGH or whatever the hell else you have done in your career.  I’m pissed that you won’t now admit guilt, go away and leave gracefully.  You made your bed Alex, now it is time to lay in it.  I don’t want to watch you play, I don’t want to hear about your misfortune and I certainly don’t want to pay the Yankees ticket money that will indirectly end up in your bank account.  Please Alex, as a former fan of yours, you must walk away and never return.