Talking sports while everyone else talks s#*%. Don't be haters, be Debaters!

Nick Saban is coming to town: Hide the kids!

Nick Saban is a creep.  The Alabama coach who has won back to back National Championships  and four overall has always been known for being a douche bag.  He left LSU in the middle of the night, took a job with the Dolphins, bailed on them after a crappy couple of years and has now rebuilt a winning program at LSU’s biggest rival.  However, offering scholarships and actively recruiting middle school children is the most offensive act he has every participated in.

Dylan Moses is an 8th grader from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Apparently Moses stands at 6’1 and 215 pounds, which means he looks more like a man than most of my grown up friends.  However, the 13 year old running back is still just that, 13 years old!  Dylan hasn’t spent a day in high school yet.  He isn’t allowed to drive for another three years.  None of these things matter to Nick Saban because he has already offered Moses a full ride to Alabama 4 years prior to his high school graduation.

I guess Nick Saban has been channeling his inner Jerry Sandusky by watching tape of and sweet talking prepubescent football players.  In a few years, I expect to see him hiding behind a bush of a Texas area elementary school, spying on the 2nd grade recess pick-up game looking for the next Greg McElroy.  Had Moses been jewish I guess we would have expected Saban to light a candle during the lighting ceremony.

In a day and age where the sports world has become tarnished in every which way, it is rare for me to find a story with any shock value.  Since the beginning of this calendar year we’ve had legendary steroid and PED scandals, catfish scandals, olympic athlete murder scandals and now Saban has added to the insanity.  I’m pretty sure that in the next few days we will learn the Dylan Moses has been taking some form of steroids, probably Deer Antler spray which seems to be a popular choice among the Crimson Tide.  I mean, who has ever met a 13 year old who was 6’1 and 215 pounds?  Let’s just hope that Saban doesn’t shower with Moses or that the kid doesn’t invent a girlfriend who doesn’t actually exist.  Both of these scenarios would have been out of the realm of possibility as recently as three years ago, but hell, this is 2013 and anything can happen these days.

Dylan Moses should have been allowed to go through high school as a normal student.  Now that the has been offered a full ride to attend the best football school in the country, he has an automatic target on his back.  He’ll have a hard time making friends because people will only want to get close to him for his money.  He can’t possibly have a real relationship because ever girl he’ll be with will be trying to trick him into knocking them up, looking for that child support.  He’ll be walking around town with the biggest ego in the world but at the same time will go through his teenage years living a lonely existence.

Nick Saban did a huge disservice to Dylan Moses and he needs to be banned from all elementary and middle schools for the rest of his career.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s