What About Freedom of Speech?
Once again, the geniuses who oversee major sports have soiled the purity of the competition. The Women’s Tennis Association announced that they are outlawing grunting in the women’s game. The joyful groans and moans that make tennis the beautiful experience that fans like myself enjoy are said to becoming a “distraction” to the game. Umpires will hold devices that will measure the noise levels of player’s on-court cries, and will be able to penalize players for going over the maximum grunt level. There will also be an educational initiative to teach young players to eliminate any minor groans the may develop as they learn the game.
Is there anyone else appalled by this decision? First of all, how come they are only eliminating grunting in the women’s game? If anything, I want to hear less men bellowing as they make contact with the ball, no offense Rafa! What warm-blooded male doesn’t enjoy watching Maria Sharapova let out a passionate moan as she crushes a cross court winner? If these jerks running the WTA are serious about this proposal, well, we will all end up losing in the long run. Thankfully, they understand that the players who are currently on tour will have a hard time changing their habits, so the rules will only be enforced on future players. Still, we are stunting the most magnificent part of women’s tennis and after the current group of players retire and this new silent era of tennis begins, ratings will plummet. Enjoy the following videos because in a few years, if you want to see women who look like this, groan like this, you’ll have to find sources which are much less socially acceptable.