Talking sports while everyone else talks s#*%. Don't be haters, be Debaters!

Oh My Ohio!

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I WENT BACK TO OHIO, BUT MY CITY WAS GONE.
TO THE GAY ARMY!

The Ohio State collegiate program adopted the name Buckeyes long ago.  The team name has stuck, and many Ohioans have felt a close identity to the term.  People from the state now identify themselves as Buckeyes, but the true origin of the term actually comes from the state tree called the Ohio Buckeye – Aesculus glabra.  However, after a narrow-minded Ohio man did research on the origins of the Buckeye Tree, he found some alarming information.  He even wrote a letter to a local Ohio Newspaper sounding his opinion:

Something in the “Just Ask” column (Page A3, May 29) disturbed me. According to the column, “the Ohio buckeye, Aesculus glabra, bears flowers with both male and female organs on the same tree. It is a monoecious species.”

I couldn’t believe this, so I did some research and, sure enough, a science website (forestry.about.com) states that “the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers.”

The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, “buckeyes.” But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!

I urge everyone to contact their state representative and demand legislation removing the buckeye as our state tree and condemning the use of the term “buckeye” as a nickname for residents of Ohio.

Does anyone know if carnations are bisexual?

Jim Flechtner, Findlay

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“I see men as trees walking”. Mark8:24. But NOT swaying!

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“This is my token to remind you of my promise. I will set a rainbow in the sky.” Genesis 9:16-17

What do you think about this? It’s message is strange enough and takes a tone that makes you believe it might be a joke.  However, as you read think about this country’s weird ways of coping with unfamiliar sexual orientations, then couple in the rhetoric Jim uses in proving his “Scientific Theory”.  It really makes you wonder whether this guy is serious.  Well, if the Ohio State Buckeyes change their name to the Ohio State cacti next season, (under the assumption that the cactus is a fully straight, masculine plant), then we might see that Flechtner was not only writing from his true heart, but shared the same sentiments of his many neighbors in the fine state of Ohio.  Hell, with all of the scandals that the university has recently  encountered, I’m not sure they would have any chance of surviving a bisexual mascot sex scandal, so Brutus…Be Aware!

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Et tu Brutus?

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One response

  1. Butler

    Excellent Brutus picture btw. On the bisexual buckeye, it is appropriate that OSU has “flaunted the Holy Bible” as our fire and brimstone muckraker has pointed out. Columbus has the distinction of being the most gay-friendly mid sized city in that part of the country and if the census can be trusted, even boasts a neighborhood (Clintonville) with the highest concentration of “lesbian households” in the Midwest. Now they don’t always mix well with the religious right or the drunken couch burning set, but they are there, they are real, and they are spectacular. Excellent work as always, Bobby.

    June 19, 2012 at 8:16 PM

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