Phuck You Philly!
As a Ranger fan, I can’t really remember ever rooting for the New Jersey Devils. The Rangers and Devils have been rivals since I’ve started watching, and I am really looking forward to the Conference Finals where we will hopefully have a chance to relive the 1994 magic. However, for the past week I’ve been rooting very hard for the Devs for one simple reason: I can’t stand Philadelphia. My hatred for Philadelphia is deep-rooted, and last night was about as good as it gets. The Phillies lost to the Mets, the 76ers went down to the Bulls and the Flyers were eliminated by the Devils. In the past week, Philadelphia has really shown the sports world what it’s made of.
First off, Cole Hamels throws a pitch at Nationals Rookie Bryce Harper, then when he is questioned about it, admits that he was trying to plunk him and wants to keep old school tactics alive in baseball. This guy is a phucking jerk. First of all, “old school baseball” has nothing to do with hitting rookies. If a pitcher throws at your teammate, or somebody watches a HR for 30 seconds, then you can throw at him. There are rookies on almost every team in the league. Therefore, if Hamels is really that concerned with welcoming players into the Big Leagues by plunking them, then he would be doing this almost every start. On top of that, how STUPID can you be to admit that you hit him on purpose. Doing it is dumb enough, but then owning up to it is one of the most idiotic things I have ever seen a baseball player do.
Then we have the phucking Flyers. As much as I don’t like the Devils, I can’t stand the phucking Flyers. They are the biggest bunch of goons ever compiled on one team. As soon as this team gets down a couple of goals, they stop playing hockey and start headhunting. In the second to last game of the year, the Rangers beat the Flyers to clinch the Eastern Conference. However, the referees wouldn’t even let the two teams play out the end of the game, out of fear that the Flyer players would start a melee. If you watched the Pittsburgh/Philadelphia first round series, it was more of a pay-per view Wrestling Match then a hockey game. Even the Flyers best offensive players are goons, exemplified by Claude Giroux Game 5 suspension for a dirty hit on the Devil’s Dainius Zubrus. However, Philly fans resemble the team in their barbaric behavior, exemplified by the Flyer fans who jumped the Ranger fans after New York won the Winter Classic. To see the Flyers lose at home and all those fans in their phucking ugly orange jerseys go home sad was amazing!
I used to like Allen Iverson, but since he left, there is nothing about the sports scene in Philadelphia I enjoy. The basketball team is lucky Derrick Rose went down or they’d be at home watching already. The Eagles are the type of franchise that would bring in a dog killing QB and make him the highest paid player in team history. Remember when the Eagles played fantasy football last season, signing every high-profile free agent? Remember when they missed the playoffs? The Phillies are in last place in their division right now, looking up at the Nationals and Mets. I repeat, looking up at the METS AND THE NATIONALS! The Flyers, well I think I said enough about them for now. Evan Villanova basketball sucks! One title in the history of the school and that was damn near 30 years ago! The best thing about Jay Wright is his suit collection.
Philly’s claim to fame are cheese steaks and the phucking Liberty Bell. Though I can agree that they taste rather good, especially after a few drinks, what does it really say about a city whose best food is cuisine you could buy from a street vendor? As for the Liberty Bell…I’ve visited it, stood in line for an hour to look at it for 3 minutes. Believe me, much like the professional sports teams in Philadelphia, it was broken and not a phucking big deal.